jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
