a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
