All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
