After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
