you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
my liver is dry heaving
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
