Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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