Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
