I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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