awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
