i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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