She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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