so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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