Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
