so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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