He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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