If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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