so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pants are for mortals
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize