i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
