I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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