a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
