ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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