hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
