Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
