it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
