I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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