Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
