I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
