turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
