I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
