smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this beer tastes like vomit already
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
