i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize