I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
