when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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