my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
