oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
