Barsexuality is the new black.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
