hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
