I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
