question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
