Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
