my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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