I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
