I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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