If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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