i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
