even my farts smell like vagina
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
