Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sorry my hands just texted you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
