you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
