I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Randomize
