Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
