i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
