I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
