Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
