I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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