why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
