Please, let me fuck your mom
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
