It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
