38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
