Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
