hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
