Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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