11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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