yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
