i don't like sucking hair
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
