I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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